FIELD NOTES / BOUNDARIES

Say what you can do. And what you can’t.

A useful boundary is not a demand that everyone behave differently. It states a real limit and what you can do within it. Start with the work, the capacity you actually have, and the decision that needs to be made.

Make the trade-off visible.

When two urgent tasks compete, agreeing to both can hide a problem until the deadline. A clearer response names the competing commitments and invites a priority decision.

Offer an alternative you can deliver.

A useful alternative is specific and realistic. It might mean a later deadline, a smaller scope, or a different owner. Do not offer an option merely to soften the moment if you cannot follow through on it.

Keep the explanation proportionate.

You can give context without building a long defense. State the constraint, offer the workable option, and pause. Listen for information that genuinely changes the situation, rather than assuming every question requires you to abandon the limit.

Practice with a low-stakes example.

Write: “I can ___ by ___. I can’t also ___ within that time. A workable option is ___.” Adjust the language to your role, your responsibilities, and the relationship.

Power differences and organizational policies matter. For safety, harassment, discrimination, retaliation, or legal concerns, a communication exercise is not a substitute for appropriate reporting or qualified support.

Practice concepts adapted from Clayton Blackshear’s Assertive Communication: The 30-Day Speak-Up Method, first edition (2026). Examples on this page are original illustrations, not real conversations. These are educational practices, not guaranteed outcomes.